Saturday, January 13, 2024
5:27PM · New York City, NY
Perhaps it’s because it’s a new year, perhaps it’s one too many doomscrolls on Twitter, Reddit, YouTube. But there was a moment of lucidity on Tuesday where I realized I wasn’t going anywhere with life. Maybe that’s overstating or overdramatizing things, but life seems to be radically different after school. There was a definite endpoint - graduation, and checkpoints along the way - the ends of terms. Now that my life isn’t sectioned into 4 month chunks, it turns out it’s easy to let life pass you by. After the excitement of moving and the novelty of things died down, the reality of being an adult begins to set in.
Goals seem to be less tangible than ever, and to “live for God” seems vague and hard to grasp. This is something I’m still trying to process but there are some conclusions I’ve come to. I want to put beauty into the world, through work and what I do after work. I want to create and not just consume mindlessly. I want to give rather than receive. I want to love intentionally rather than hold onto resentment or auto-pilot my interactions with other people. I’m not sure if these things are any more tangible, but they’re out on the internet now.
This is the GO train at Bloor GO. It’s going somewhere. I’d like to be like this GO train. (shot on Fujifilm Superia 400 I think)