Friday, March 29, 2024
10:25PM · New York City, NY
It just occurred to me, despite hearing the words all day in the Good Friday readings, how crazy it was for Jesus to say “Father forgive them, they know not what they do” (Luke 23:34) while hanging on the cross. These people who mocked Him, spit at Him, tortured Him, crucified Him - He actively suffers for their forgiveness. It brought to mind these words from a Tim Keller sermon that have been living in my head rent-free this week:
“Words are not the currency of forgiveness. Let me tell you how to forgive - if you want to forgive someone, when you want to see them pay, you refrain from hurting them, you refrain from harming them, you refrain from vengeance, you refrain even from thinking bad thoughts about them, holding ill will in your heart. You refrain from slandering them, you refrain from gossiping, you refrain from carving up their reputation. And you know what, that hurts. That’s agony. That’s suffering. It is an emotional fact of life you cannot forgive without suffering yourself.”
For the past few months, I’ve had this aching feeling of being wronged. I’ve definitely thought bad thoughts, held ill will, slandered, gossiped, carved up reputations. I haven’t been able to truly forgive, to endure agony and love the other party involved. Forgiveness always seems like such an awesome thing until you have to do it yourself. And yet, on Good Friday, we remember the greatest act of suffering, and thus the greatest act of love and forgiveness. Even my inability to forgive these few months is forgiven.
So how can I go on harboring resentment in my heart? How can I ignore the greatest act of love and forgiveness? I can’t say that these thoughts and feelings of bitterness will go away overnight but I do believe that Christ paves a way forward. He promises a better way than hatefulness, and He has shown it through His cross.
Allan Rohan Crite, Stations of the Cross: Untitled (Jesus Dies on the Cross), 1935